I'm here to leave a comment after taking my first look at your project. So far, I love everything about your storybook: the title’s play on “A Tale of Two Cities”, the idea of using a turtle as being the chill narrator who goes with the cosmic flow, and using Kurma as Karma’s son—everything! I knew right away that you were using Crush as inspiration for character, and I thought it was great that you mentioned it in your Author’s Note. He’s such a laid-back “dude,” and it makes perfect sense to me to use him (or his dad) as a personification of Karma. It also seems to work out amazingly well that turtle in sanscrit is so close to “karma” phonetically—nice job picking up on that!
Aesthetically, I think your storybook looks great! The links are all easy to locate, and the background matches your chosen theme super well.
Ashlyn, Your storybook profile reflect well of the sea world. Great job! on creating this storybook profile. “My dad is like two hundred years old... so really old. Me, I’m a hundred and fifty and still young, dude. Rock on”, this is funny, Nice! Your introduction is really funny, however, I find deep talks and words in there too. I find it funny and meaningful. I am excited to read what you will create form here. Your introduction looks promising to me, and I will definitely check back to see what you have created. Just by the name of the characters in the introduction I can imagine how good of the story you can create from here, and by the way you have written your introduction I can imagine how funny your story could be and have some deep meaning behind it for us. I wish you all the best for your future writings, I hope you keep up the good work.
Your storybook profile was great. You are a natural born writer! I think you did a good job with the title of your project. I liked the symbolism you used. This was pretty funny. You had me when you said, “My dad is like two hundred years old and I’m a hundred and fifty and still young. His beach talk was also pretty humorous. You put a lot of imagination into this work. My wow moment was when I initially saw your blog. The background really gave your story an under the sea look. The way you step up the reading, it will be easy to add on to it in the future. Your story flowed and was easy to read. Your links were appropriate. When I clicked on the link. It had information on sea turtle conservation. I didn’t know you could adopt a turtle. Keep up the good work!
Ashlyn, It looks like your storybook is really coming along so far. I really enjoyed the layout of your storybook. It looks very clean and is very easy to navigate through your storybook. The pictures and background truly allow me to picture Kurma in the ocean telling us this story. I thought it was hilarious that you started off your introduction as the turtle from Finding Nemo. I loved that movie so I will definitely want to continue reading your story! I hope you continue to implement the characters into your story, maybe Dory! I almost started writing about Karma in my own stories but it just didn’t quite work out. I love the idea of karma. You have many different options on the rest of your story because karma is such a broad topic so that is good for you!
Anyways, it looks like you have a great idea between karma and Finding Nemo. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Hey Ashlyn Wow! I really loved the character Kurma! I immediately associated him with Crush from Finding Nemo – I think it is great you mentioned it in the Author’s Note. I am really excited to get to learn more about Karma – you have set up the intro to make it really intriguing for readers! The intro made me wonder what kind of stories Kurma and Karma would tell, which is exactly what an intro is supposed to do! I think having a story about how Karma got his name is a perfect addition to the storybook. One of my favorite lines was when Kurma attempted to give an example of what karma is (all the “whoa’s”), it offered just the right amount of humor and personality to the story! I think your background picture is really pretty, and offers a great mood to the page. I noticed a couple of times where the fonts or font sizes changed, so you might just do the CTRL+A to make sure they are the same – unless they are supposed to be different, in which case never mind! =p I really loved this intro, and I think it is going to be a great storybook!
Hey there! I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed your blog as a whole. I think the background picture is fun - and it really fits the theme of the class! Also, your font and font sizes are simple and easy to read!
Ashlyn, Your blog made me realize that I could have a background/layout for my blog that was not too busy but that was also not plain at all. I might need to rethink my layout design because I'm thinking its a little too plain. Thanks for the idea!!
The moment I saw the background of your site I knew it was from Finding Nemo. Then when I started reading the intro, I realized what your theme was! I'm so excited that you chose Finding Nemo as your theme with Kurma aka Crush as the narrator. Since I was a child, I have seen the movie a gazillion times, so I definitely caught the lines you picked from the movie to add into the story.
I'm curious to see where you will take it from here. For example, I'm looking forward to the different stories you will tell about Karma, and I am also interested to see how you build Karma's character. I'll be on the look out for any other Finding Nemo references as well!
I like the picture you have on the intro page. If you can find other ways to incorporate images from the movie that would be awesome! In any case, your work is excellent so far.
I'm just writing you to tell you that I really like the design of your blog. You chose a great template that makes me think I am in a giant library and it immediately caught my eye. I think a good background is key to getting readers to stop and stay at your site. Great choice!
Hi Ashlyn! I love the theme of your storybook. I think it is my favorite that I have seen so far. I love Disney movies and I think you nailed the turtle voice in your introduction. I like the way you have changed the names of the turtles in your introduction to relate your storybook to the topic you want to discuss but you keep the personality of from the original Disney movie. I think your theme and your introduction are both well executed and interesting. The pictures you have chosen are both adorable and beautiful. The formatting of your introduction looks great! The dialog splits up the paragraphs perfectly and keeps the reader interested. One suggestion I might have is to add a more in depth Author's note to give the reader more insight in your thinking. Keep up the good work.
I loved reading your introduction and your first story! Turtles, specifically sea turtles, are my favorite animal--so I was so excited to read your storybook.
I love Kurma, and the references to Finding Nemo. It was a great start to your Storybook. Like, it had a very good entry level to your book. It was easy to read and follow. It was entertaining and it felt familiar since it was like Crush from Finding Nemo, but at the same time it introduced your story in a simple and great way.
Additionally, your first story was also a delight to read. I liked how Karma referenced his son from the intro, which was a great way for the reader to remember Kurma. I also though you taught about karma and such in a very interesting and simple way. By simple I mean it was not confusing, it was easy to read, and it was well written.
Hey Ashyln! Just stopping by to tell you what I think about your storybook! First off, I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE the tone of voice you gave for Kurma. Reading your introduction totally reminded me of the sea turtle from Finding Nemo. It was so fun to read. Your introduction also did a great job of explaining what the idea of karma is. After reading the introduction, I was super excited to read your first story! Your first story about Karma was really good. I love your connections to Finding Nemo. You did a clever job of incorporating the idea of karma into the basic story of Finding Nemo. You connected the Karma's story into Nemo's story without making it seem too similar. Your story was very well written and I enjoyed it a lot. Can't wait to read more of Karma and Kurma's stories!
Ashlyn, this is the first storybook I have read thus far and I am really impressed by yours. Even on first look at your story the background of it really assists in the storytelling. It reminds me a lot of Sea World and Finding Nemo at the same time. I appreciated your incorporation of Karma throughout your story. In addition, I found it unique and cool how you presented the information in your story. I have not yet seen a style like this and I am curious to try this technique in some of my future storytelling’s. Also, I liked the picture that you put with your story. It really helps me to imagine the plot and get into a story. All in all, I really enjoyed your storybook thus far and am looking forward to reading more of Karma and Kurma’s Stories. Thanks for sharing! (P.S. I did see that shot by Buddy Hield and I was devastated that it didn’t count. Doesn’t matter now though, because we’re sweet sixteen!)
Hi Ashlyn, I love how you used Crush from "Finding Nemo" as the narrator of your story. It's perfect that such a mellow, easy going character would talk about Karma and going with the 'comic flow of things'. The introduction was a great balance of defining to the audience what Karma is and the ideals behind it while also introducing the character Karma and Kurma to the reader; all the while making the correlating between the characters in 'Finding Nemo' and the narrator and his father. While I have never seen the movie "A Little Princess" I think it is really cool that you found the connection between a movie you already like a the class you are currently in! How crazy is it to think that it was based on Indian Epics too. I can tell that you put a lot of energy into combing aspects of the movie and our readings with this 'under the sea' setting. You have done a fantastic job so far and I can't wait to see how creative you get with this whole Storybook.
Hi Ashlyn! My name is Ali and I am from the Myth and Folklore class. I just finished reading your introduction and first story that you have posted for your storybook! I loved that since you are using turtles you adapted one of the characters to Crush from Finding Nemo. I think it was a good way to get a lot of people excited about the story with a character they recognized! I think it is really cool that you are going to explain the concept of karma with separate stories because it will tie them all together really well. The one thing I found a little confusing was the family lineage. Sometimes I couldn’t tell who was whose father, and where each character came into the story. There was a lot going on with fathers and mothers, so it might be good to clean that up a little bit! Other than that you are off to a great start! Good luck with the rest of your storybook!
I loved reading stories and your work! I could not find your week 9 story so I am commenting here. But overall, I have loved the stories I read specially the week 6 story. I noticed I have commented on you introduction already so I just wanted to say that I loved reading the stories and looks like you have been doing an incredible job in class.
Hi Ashlyn! I am from mythology group and I chose your storybook because it attracted my attention! It was a great title, I love turtles and I was so excited that you would write about turtles for sure. I am so impressed with your storybook! I think you picked the wonderful background image for your storybook. It was possibly the best background theme that associate with the title of storybook. I like the picture overall. Your choice of picture for turtles are the best as well. I love every turtle that appeared in your storybook. I like how you picked a turtle named Kurma as a storyteller. It is just brilliant how a storyteller can be so related to the topic of the storybook! Great job! You are a great writer as well. I read your first post PaPa Samudra who was the father of Kurma! I like how you are going to use every different character or turtle as your storyteller! I might visit just to read your story in the future. Good job once again.
I love this story! I thought your intro was hilarious! Your character is the perfect representation of the turtle from Finding Nemo! It is more than clear that that you really enjoy this movie. The background on your page goes well with the themes of your story! I have never seen A Little Princess so I had to do more background research to understand where you were coming from. It is something new that I actually enjoyed! I am planning oon watching this movie tonight! I also enjoy how you managed to keep an important issue of A Little Princess and portray it in your story with completely different characters! I love your picture! I have always been fascinated with turtles! It is an amazing picture that really portrays the characters of your story. I also enjoyed how you made the character explain how his relative did not have the same opportunities he had when he was young. I really liked that because that is something my grandfather always tells me.
I decided to come back and take another look at your storybook, since this week is basically entirely free choice. I was not disappointed! I really like how you chose a more reserved tone for the father turtle. You did such a good job of cultivating the personality of Karma in the introduction, and you definitely did the same here; it made total sense for you to create a mature personality in the father. I also loved the really cute example of the butterfly effect. I loved the line “the possibilities are endless, and this is karma”—very poetic explanation! Although I wouldn’t really change anything about the narrative itself, there were a couple of small grammatical errors. It should be “his mother and I” in the fifth paragraph, and my “father in me” in the fourth to last paragraph; a good trick for remembering that is to make the sentence singular, and whichever fits in that scenario (I or me) is the correct one. Other than that, everything looked great! Overall, I really liked your first story! Great job!
Your storybook is great! I want to tell you that I love the background and pictures that you chose for your site page. It is so cute! It indeed reminded me of “Finding Nemo”.
After reading your introduction and first story, I fell in love. I like how you tied your story to “A Little Princess”. That is one of my favorite films. I see the similarities that your story possesses with relation to the movie and book. Every story that you have written this semester has been great. You have a natural ability to write such amazing stories. There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing too major.
I love the narration and set up of the stories. Your site was easy to navigate through, and the font was the perfect size for reading. There is nothing that I would change or even suggest for you to do. You did an amazing job!
Hi Ashlyn! I cannot gush enough about how stinking cute this story is. The characters are precious, I could squeeze them like a little plush toy. And colorful and animated, like watching a cartoon. I also really like how you took the elements of the language and symbolism of the religious ideas and made a beautiful story. I had never heard of the story you mention in the author's note called A Little Princess. I must check it out now! I did kinda pick up the Crush turtle, and maybe a bit of the Big Lebowski? I smiled the whole time, I was like WHOA! Papa Samudra is fun and so is Kurma. I really enjoyed reading the story. The image and the background of the story is awesome! I like the underwater theme so much! I wish I would have thought of it! I am super glad that I checked out your storybook and I look forward to checking back later to see what's new. It really cheered up my day!
Hi Ashlyn, I am SUPER surprised I have not read your storybook yet. I love turtles so much! I got so giddy when I saw a sea turtle on your first page. I don't think I have ever been so excited to read a storybook in a class. First, I adore that you used Crush's personality from Finding Nemo as Karma. I could not stop smiling the entire time I was reading. I loved how Karma described karma. It was so sweet and cute. My favorite line in the story was: "Maybe you have heard of the butterfly effect in which an action so little as the fluttering of a butterfly's tiny, delicate wings have the power to eventually cause something so massive as, say, a hurricane." It's so descriptive. I could picture it perfectly. The way your storybook is set up including the colors and imagery really enhance your stories. I loved it so much that I even gushed to my boyfriend about it and read one of the stories out loud to him. Honestly, this is my absolute favorite storybook in this class. Hands down. Keep up the good work and I will be coming back for more for sure. I hope your semester is going well. I am so happy I found this! Thank you!
First off, I love your background for your site. It is the perfect setting for your underwater characters. I like how you used Crush's personality from Finding Nemo for Kurma. He was one of my favorite characters in that movie. The light hearted nature of Kurma contrasts well with the more serious Papa Sumudra.
I actually did my first storytelling post on this same bed-time story, so I was pleasantly surprised to see it come up again in your storybook. You did a great job in integrating the main theme of that story. That story had a pretty dark ending, so I was happy you didn't kill off Papa Sumudra. I guess that would have been a major wrinkle in the future stories if you did choose to make the ending the same though. I really liked this first story and I'm excited to see where you take it from here.
I love the way that narrator is talking haha. It reminds me of how the fish talk in Finding Nemo. I guess it seems that surfers tend to speak that way, maybe it’s an ocean thing. The picture you used in the introduction is so pretty and provides an illustration of what I imagine the story is taking place in. These next comments will be for the “Papa Samudra” story. I wonder why Kurma names his son Karma? What sort of karma occurred that he felt he should name is son after that karma? Oh never mind, I see that you are about to explain that part.:) I like the consistency in terminology that is used by the turtles, such as “big ol’ blue” for the ocean. I am excited to read more of the stories and see how it connects to Rama and Sita! Great job on the story, it was a fantastic read!
Ashlyn, I am here to follow up on your storybook. I really liked your introduction and you did a great job. I liked the fact that you have used tiny descriptions to explain karma and its existence. Also your explanation of the fact that every action has a reaction was great. I wonder how you would have justified that the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings would create a hurricane. I am really impressed with the style of your while explaining that every actions that we take in life could lead us to a different path. I believe this is why we have to be really careful while making any decisions in life because we would be at the top of our dream or still struggling to achieve our dream depending on what path we choose. The oceans are alive! I really feel like you did a great job here to bring the characters to life. Good job!
Just read the intro and second entry to your storybook. It's looking great so far. Perfect background, and you so excellently captured the voice of the turtle from fining nemo! I was confused at first, though, because in your introduction it says that the son is named Kurma and the father is Karma, and then the names get switched in the second story. Apologies if this has already been brought up, but it definitely made me go back and scratch my head confusingly.
Beyond that, everything looks great. I have not seen the Little Princess, so I have no idea what direction the story is heading, and I'm loving it. Will definitely be back for future project feedbacks!
I am back again to see how the rest of your storybook came along. I remember really liking the introduction and first story. I read the final story of your storybook and it did not disappoint. I have not read “A Feast of Fists”, but it sounds like it had a pretty powerful message to tell. I absolutely love the concept of karma. I do not necessarily believe in the reincarnation aspect of it, but I do believe that in some sense, what comes around goes around. My favorite part of your story was how well Kurma handled his misfortune at the hands of Miss Pinchin. The golden cup is very interesting. I was wondering if the cup only produced food, or does it make the thing that the possessor desires most? Finally, I am glad that you pointed out that you cannot refuse to pay someone and call it karma. Great story and I enjoyed reading it!
Hey Ashlyn! I'm just commenting regarding a question you posted on my Introduction! I do have a few sushi spots in Norman that I love! I like O Asian Fusion, Mr. Sushi and Go Go sushi but for different reasons. I like the atmosphere and drinks at O Asian, I love the serving style at Go Go (it's a buffet sorta style!) and Mr. Sushi has the widest selection of speciality rolls I have ever seen! I recently ate at 180 Meridian but was less than impressed sadly. I hope you can find time to go check at least one of these places out! They are worth it!
Hi there, Ashlyn!
ReplyDeleteI'm here to leave a comment after taking my first look at your project. So far, I love everything about your storybook: the title’s play on “A Tale of Two Cities”, the idea of using a turtle as being the chill narrator who goes with the cosmic flow, and using Kurma as Karma’s son—everything! I knew right away that you were using Crush as inspiration for character, and I thought it was great that you mentioned it in your Author’s Note. He’s such a laid-back “dude,” and it makes perfect sense to me to use him (or his dad) as a personification of Karma. It also seems to work out amazingly well that turtle in sanscrit is so close to “karma” phonetically—nice job picking up on that!
Aesthetically, I think your storybook looks great! The links are all easy to locate, and the background matches your chosen theme super well.
I really can’t wait to read more! Nicely done!
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook profile reflect well of the sea world. Great job! on creating this storybook profile. “My dad is like two hundred years old... so really old. Me, I’m a hundred and fifty and still young, dude. Rock on”, this is funny, Nice! Your introduction is really funny, however, I find deep talks and words in there too. I find it funny and meaningful. I am excited to read what you will create form here. Your introduction looks promising to me, and I will definitely check back to see what you have created. Just by the name of the characters in the introduction I can imagine how good of the story you can create from here, and by the way you have written your introduction I can imagine how funny your story could be and have some deep meaning behind it for us. I wish you all the best for your future writings, I hope you keep up the good work.
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook profile was great. You are a natural born writer! I think you did a good job with the title of your project. I liked the symbolism you used. This was pretty funny. You had me when you said, “My dad is like two hundred years old and I’m a hundred and fifty and still young. His beach talk was also pretty humorous. You put a lot of imagination into this work. My wow moment was when I initially saw your blog. The background really gave your story an under the sea look. The way you step up the reading, it will be easy to add on to it in the future. Your story flowed and was easy to read. Your links were appropriate. When I clicked on the link. It had information on sea turtle conservation. I didn’t know you could adopt a turtle. Keep up the good work!
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteIt looks like your storybook is really coming along so far. I really enjoyed the layout of your storybook. It looks very clean and is very easy to navigate through your storybook. The pictures and background truly allow me to picture Kurma in the ocean telling us this story. I thought it was hilarious that you started off your introduction as the turtle from Finding Nemo. I loved that movie so I will definitely want to continue reading your story! I hope you continue to implement the characters into your story, maybe Dory! I almost started writing about Karma in my own stories but it just didn’t quite work out. I love the idea of karma. You have many different options on the rest of your story because karma is such a broad topic so that is good for you!
Anyways, it looks like you have a great idea between karma and Finding Nemo. I look forward to reading more of your stories!
Hey Ashlyn
ReplyDeleteWow! I really loved the character Kurma! I immediately associated him with Crush from Finding Nemo – I think it is great you mentioned it in the Author’s Note. I am really excited to get to learn more about Karma – you have set up the intro to make it really intriguing for readers! The intro made me wonder what kind of stories Kurma and Karma would tell, which is exactly what an intro is supposed to do! I think having a story about how Karma got his name is a perfect addition to the storybook. One of my favorite lines was when Kurma attempted to give an example of what karma is (all the “whoa’s”), it offered just the right amount of humor and personality to the story! I think your background picture is really pretty, and offers a great mood to the page. I noticed a couple of times where the fonts or font sizes changed, so you might just do the CTRL+A to make sure they are the same – unless they are supposed to be different, in which case never mind! =p I really loved this intro, and I think it is going to be a great storybook!
Hey there! I wanted to let you know that I really enjoyed your blog as a whole. I think the background picture is fun - and it really fits the theme of the class! Also, your font and font sizes are simple and easy to read!
ReplyDeleteAshlyn,
ReplyDeleteYour blog made me realize that I could have a background/layout for my blog that was not too busy but that was also not plain at all. I might need to rethink my layout design because I'm thinking its a little too plain. Thanks for the idea!!
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteThe moment I saw the background of your site I knew it was from Finding Nemo. Then when I started reading the intro, I realized what your theme was! I'm so excited that you chose Finding Nemo as your theme with Kurma aka Crush as the narrator. Since I was a child, I have seen the movie a gazillion times, so I definitely caught the lines you picked from the movie to add into the story.
I'm curious to see where you will take it from here. For example, I'm looking forward to the different stories you will tell about Karma, and I am also interested to see how you build Karma's character. I'll be on the look out for any other Finding Nemo references as well!
I like the picture you have on the intro page. If you can find other ways to incorporate images from the movie that would be awesome! In any case, your work is excellent so far.
Hi Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteI'm just writing you to tell you that I really like the design of your blog. You chose a great template that makes me think I am in a giant library and it immediately caught my eye. I think a good background is key to getting readers to stop and stay at your site. Great choice!
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlyn! I love the theme of your storybook. I think it is my favorite that I have seen so far. I love Disney movies and I think you nailed the turtle voice in your introduction.
ReplyDeleteI like the way you have changed the names of the turtles in your introduction to relate your storybook to the topic you want to discuss but you keep the personality of from the original Disney movie. I think your theme and your introduction are both well executed and interesting. The pictures you have chosen are both adorable and beautiful. The formatting of your introduction looks great! The dialog splits up the paragraphs perfectly and keeps the reader interested. One suggestion I might have is to add a more in depth Author's note to give the reader more insight in your thinking. Keep up the good work.
I look forward to seeing your storybook develop.
-Sara
I loved reading your introduction and your first story! Turtles, specifically sea turtles, are my favorite animal--so I was so excited to read your storybook.
ReplyDeleteI love Kurma, and the references to Finding Nemo. It was a great start to your Storybook. Like, it had a very good entry level to your book. It was easy to read and follow. It was entertaining and it felt familiar since it was like Crush from Finding Nemo, but at the same time it introduced your story in a simple and great way.
Additionally, your first story was also a delight to read. I liked how Karma referenced his son from the intro, which was a great way for the reader to remember Kurma. I also though you taught about karma and such in a very interesting and simple way. By simple I mean it was not confusing, it was easy to read, and it was well written.
I'll have to check out your other turtle tales!
Hey Ashyln!
ReplyDeleteJust stopping by to tell you what I think about your storybook!
First off, I just wanted to let you know that I LOVE the tone of voice you gave for Kurma. Reading your introduction totally reminded me of the sea turtle from Finding Nemo. It was so fun to read. Your introduction also did a great job of explaining what the idea of karma is. After reading the introduction, I was super excited to read your first story!
Your first story about Karma was really good. I love your connections to Finding Nemo. You did a clever job of incorporating the idea of karma into the basic story of Finding Nemo. You connected the Karma's story into Nemo's story without making it seem too similar. Your story was very well written and I enjoyed it a lot.
Can't wait to read more of Karma and Kurma's stories!
Ashlyn, this is the first storybook I have read thus far and I am really impressed by yours. Even on first look at your story the background of it really assists in the storytelling. It reminds me a lot of Sea World and Finding Nemo at the same time. I appreciated your incorporation of Karma throughout your story. In addition, I found it unique and cool how you presented the information in your story. I have not yet seen a style like this and I am curious to try this technique in some of my future storytelling’s. Also, I liked the picture that you put with your story. It really helps me to imagine the plot and get into a story. All in all, I really enjoyed your storybook thus far and am looking forward to reading more of Karma and Kurma’s Stories. Thanks for sharing! (P.S. I did see that shot by Buddy Hield and I was devastated that it didn’t count. Doesn’t matter now though, because we’re sweet sixteen!)
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlyn, I love how you used Crush from "Finding Nemo" as the narrator of your story. It's perfect that such a mellow, easy going character would talk about Karma and going with the 'comic flow of things'. The introduction was a great balance of defining to the audience what Karma is and the ideals behind it while also introducing the character Karma and Kurma to the reader; all the while making the correlating between the characters in 'Finding Nemo' and the narrator and his father. While I have never seen the movie "A Little Princess" I think it is really cool that you found the connection between a movie you already like a the class you are currently in! How crazy is it to think that it was based on Indian Epics too. I can tell that you put a lot of energy into combing aspects of the movie and our readings with this 'under the sea' setting. You have done a fantastic job so far and I can't wait to see how creative you get with this whole Storybook.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlyn!
ReplyDeleteMy name is Ali and I am from the Myth and Folklore class. I just finished reading your introduction and first story that you have posted for your storybook! I loved that since you are using turtles you adapted one of the characters to Crush from Finding Nemo. I think it was a good way to get a lot of people excited about the story with a character they recognized! I think it is really cool that you are going to explain the concept of karma with separate stories because it will tie them all together really well. The one thing I found a little confusing was the family lineage. Sometimes I couldn’t tell who was whose father, and where each character came into the story. There was a lot going on with fathers and mothers, so it might be good to clean that up a little bit! Other than that you are off to a great start! Good luck with the rest of your storybook!
Hi Ashlyn!
ReplyDeleteI loved reading stories and your work! I could not find your week 9 story so I am commenting here. But overall, I have loved the stories I read specially the week 6 story. I noticed I have commented on you introduction already so I just wanted to say that I loved reading the stories and looks like you have been doing an incredible job in class.
Hi Ashlyn! I am from mythology group and I chose your storybook because it attracted my attention! It was a great title, I love turtles and I was so excited that you would write about turtles for sure. I am so impressed with your storybook! I think you picked the wonderful background image for your storybook. It was possibly the best background theme that associate with the title of storybook. I like the picture overall. Your choice of picture for turtles are the best as well. I love every turtle that appeared in your storybook. I like how you picked a turtle named Kurma as a storyteller. It is just brilliant how a storyteller can be so related to the topic of the storybook! Great job! You are a great writer as well. I read your first post PaPa Samudra who was the father of Kurma! I like how you are going to use every different character or turtle as your storyteller! I might visit just to read your story in the future. Good job once again.
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteI love this story! I thought your intro was hilarious! Your character is the perfect representation of the turtle from Finding Nemo! It is more than clear that that you really enjoy this movie. The background on your page goes well with the themes of your story! I have never seen A Little Princess so I had to do more background research to understand where you were coming from. It is something new that I actually enjoyed! I am planning oon watching this movie tonight! I also enjoy how you managed to keep an important issue of A Little Princess and portray it in your story with completely different characters! I love your picture! I have always been fascinated with turtles! It is an amazing picture that really portrays the characters of your story. I also enjoyed how you made the character explain how his relative did not have the same opportunities he had when he was young. I really liked that because that is something my grandfather always tells me.
Hello, again, Ashlyn!
ReplyDeleteI decided to come back and take another look at your storybook, since this week is basically entirely free choice. I was not disappointed! I really like how you chose a more reserved tone for the father turtle. You did such a good job of cultivating the personality of Karma in the introduction, and you definitely did the same here; it made total sense for you to create a mature personality in the father.
I also loved the really cute example of the butterfly effect. I loved the line “the possibilities are endless, and this is karma”—very poetic explanation!
Although I wouldn’t really change anything about the narrative itself, there were a couple of small grammatical errors. It should be “his mother and I” in the fifth paragraph, and my “father in me” in the fourth to last paragraph; a good trick for remembering that is to make the sentence singular, and whichever fits in that scenario (I or me) is the correct one. Other than that, everything looked great!
Overall, I really liked your first story! Great job!
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteYour storybook is great! I want to tell you that I love the background and pictures that you chose for your site page. It is so cute! It indeed reminded me of “Finding Nemo”.
After reading your introduction and first story, I fell in love. I like how you tied your story to “A Little Princess”. That is one of my favorite films. I see the similarities that your story possesses with relation to the movie and book. Every story that you have written this semester has been great. You have a natural ability to write such amazing stories. There were a few grammatical errors, but nothing too major.
I love the narration and set up of the stories. Your site was easy to navigate through, and the font was the perfect size for reading. There is nothing that I would change or even suggest for you to do. You did an amazing job!
Hi Ashlyn!
ReplyDeleteI cannot gush enough about how stinking cute this story is. The characters are precious, I could squeeze them like a little plush toy. And colorful and animated, like watching a cartoon. I also really like how you took the elements of the language and symbolism of the religious ideas and made a beautiful story. I had never heard of the story you mention in the author's note called A Little Princess. I must check it out now! I did kinda pick up the Crush turtle, and maybe a bit of the Big Lebowski? I smiled the whole time, I was like WHOA!
Papa Samudra is fun and so is Kurma. I really enjoyed reading the story. The image and the background of the story is awesome! I like the underwater theme so much! I wish I would have thought of it!
I am super glad that I checked out your storybook and I look forward to checking back later to see what's new. It really cheered up my day!
Hi Ashlyn, I am SUPER surprised I have not read your storybook yet. I love turtles so much! I got so giddy when I saw a sea turtle on your first page. I don't think I have ever been so excited to read a storybook in a class. First, I adore that you used Crush's personality from Finding Nemo as Karma. I could not stop smiling the entire time I was reading. I loved how Karma described karma. It was so sweet and cute. My favorite line in the story was: "Maybe you have heard of the butterfly effect in which an action so little as the fluttering of a butterfly's tiny, delicate wings have the power to eventually cause something so massive as, say, a hurricane." It's so descriptive. I could picture it perfectly. The way your storybook is set up including the colors and imagery really enhance your stories. I loved it so much that I even gushed to my boyfriend about it and read one of the stories out loud to him. Honestly, this is my absolute favorite storybook in this class. Hands down. Keep up the good work and I will be coming back for more for sure. I hope your semester is going well. I am so happy I found this! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHi Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, I love your background for your site. It is the perfect setting for your underwater characters. I like how you used Crush's personality from Finding Nemo for Kurma. He was one of my favorite characters in that movie. The light hearted nature of Kurma contrasts well with the more serious Papa Sumudra.
I actually did my first storytelling post on this same bed-time story, so I was pleasantly surprised to see it come up again in your storybook. You did a great job in integrating the main theme of that story. That story had a pretty dark ending, so I was happy you didn't kill off Papa Sumudra. I guess that would have been a major wrinkle in the future stories if you did choose to make the ending the same though. I really liked this first story and I'm excited to see where you take it from here.
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteI love the way that narrator is talking haha. It reminds me of how the fish talk in Finding Nemo. I guess it seems that surfers tend to speak that way, maybe it’s an ocean thing. The picture you used in the introduction is so pretty and provides an illustration of what I imagine the story is taking place in. These next comments will be for the “Papa Samudra” story. I wonder why Kurma names his son Karma? What sort of karma occurred that he felt he should name is son after that karma? Oh never mind, I see that you are about to explain that part.:) I like the consistency in terminology that is used by the turtles, such as “big ol’ blue” for the ocean. I am excited to read more of the stories and see how it connects to Rama and Sita! Great job on the story, it was a fantastic read!
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteI am here to follow up on your storybook. I really liked your introduction and you did a great job. I liked the fact that you have used tiny descriptions to explain karma and its existence. Also your explanation of the fact that every action has a reaction was great. I wonder how you would have justified that the fluttering of a butterfly’s wings would create a hurricane. I am really impressed with the style of your while explaining that every actions that we take in life could lead us to a different path. I believe this is why we have to be really careful while making any decisions in life because we would be at the top of our dream or still struggling to achieve our dream depending on what path we choose. The oceans are alive! I really feel like you did a great job here to bring the characters to life. Good job!
Hey Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteJust read the intro and second entry to your storybook. It's looking great so far. Perfect background, and you so excellently captured the voice of the turtle from fining nemo! I was confused at first, though, because in your introduction it says that the son is named Kurma and the father is Karma, and then the names get switched in the second story. Apologies if this has already been brought up, but it definitely made me go back and scratch my head confusingly.
Beyond that, everything looks great. I have not seen the Little Princess, so I have no idea what direction the story is heading, and I'm loving it. Will definitely be back for future project feedbacks!
Keep up the awesome writing!
Ashlyn,
ReplyDeleteI am back again to see how the rest of your storybook came along. I remember really liking the introduction and first story. I read the final story of your storybook and it did not disappoint. I have not read “A Feast of Fists”, but it sounds like it had a pretty powerful message to tell. I absolutely love the concept of karma. I do not necessarily believe in the reincarnation aspect of it, but I do believe that in some sense, what comes around goes around. My favorite part of your story was how well Kurma handled his misfortune at the hands of Miss Pinchin. The golden cup is very interesting. I was wondering if the cup only produced food, or does it make the thing that the possessor desires most? Finally, I am glad that you pointed out that you cannot refuse to pay someone and call it karma. Great story and I enjoyed reading it!
Hey Ashlyn!
ReplyDeleteI'm just commenting regarding a question you posted on my Introduction! I do have a few sushi spots in Norman that I love! I like O Asian Fusion, Mr. Sushi and Go Go sushi but for different reasons. I like the atmosphere and drinks at O Asian, I love the serving style at Go Go (it's a buffet sorta style!) and Mr. Sushi has the widest selection of speciality rolls I have ever seen! I recently ate at 180 Meridian but was less than impressed sadly. I hope you can find time to go check at least one of these places out! They are worth it!